Small Congregation: "Bob always does that."

In small congregations I have known, there's a constant problem with understaffing.  Partly, it's because there are not very many people.  And partly it's because "Bob always does that."

For sure, there are lots of jobs and not many people.  But if you look around, some of the people are not finding ways to help, and others are doing more than is good for them.  There's Bob...  every time there's a blank space on the signup sheet, Bob feels impelled to put his name in.  Sometimes he can't get to all of it, but at least he tries.  Bob's friends need to help him hold back!

When Bob's name is on the list to do something, others believe there is no need for them to sign up. His helpful practice makes it harder for those who are less involved to find ways to help.  Rather than just put his name down, he could call some people and find out if they could do it.  Or better yet, someone else who is better connected with newer folks could do it.

There are jobs around the congregation that are always Bob's responsibility.  He puts up the Solsitice/Christmas tree (does he also complain when no one else takes it down?).  He makes sure there are paper towels in the bathrooms and toilet paper in all the bathroom stalls on Sunday morning. He is the one who makes the coffee.  On a Sunday when Bob is out of town, people wonder why there is no coffee and puzzle over the condition of the restrooms.  Bob is very helpful, and yet something is not quite right about it.  Again, Bob's friends need to help him make room for others.

Of course, there's also Jane, who always washes up after social hour and always manages the kitchen during potluck suppers/brunches/luncheons. She has certain ways of doing these things and those who have been around for awhile know how to help her.  Others?  It's not easy or fun.

When people in congregations do things alone, the congregation misses out on a chance to build community.  It's a basic idea in community organizing that you should never do anything alone.  Two things happen  that are not so helpful.  First, no one else knows how to do it, or even that it is being done.  When Bob or Jane is away or sick, it's an emergency.  Second, when it's time for someone else to take over, it's very hard. Even the Holiday Tree needs a succession plan, and having others involved is a good way to set one up informally. But mainly, when you're working alone, you are not engaging with others, getting to know them, feeling you are part of the same enterprise.  Being together is actually an important part of having a congregation in the first place, right?

There are other jobs that Bobs and Janes do... it varies from congregation to congregation. Established people in small congregations can help each other find ways to avoid getting locked into certain roles.  It's good to know the Holiday tree will go up, and it's good to know someone is making sure there are napkins for the potluck, so it's a balancing act.  Being dependable and helpful is good; getting locked in to a certain role that you do by yourself, not so much.

Let us find ways to share our roles in the congregation, even when the congregation is small.

Volunteer with an unknown congregation...working alone!

Eldership in a Small Congregation

In one of the small congregations I know, there is a legend that haunts the Board of Trustees.  Some years ago, it seems, there had been a meeting where an important decision was made after discussion and careful deliberation.  Soon after, as it is remembered, someone not on the Board persuaded one of the Board members that this had been a mistake.  The Board member emailed the rest of the members to change his/her vote, persuaded someone else to change theirs, and claimed that this invalidated the original vote.  At the next meeting, the whole discussion had to be redone, and the decision was reversed.  Now, the Board (several election cycles later) has trouble making any decisions at all.

Does this happen in other small congregations?  Of course.

My diagnosis of the congregation in question was that the official, elected, Board of Trustees was actually a kind of "student government," able to make some decisions, but not to go against the "administration" of the institution.  The "administration" was a group of long time members who had the power do decide in a way the official Board could not.  Their long dedication to the congregation and their substantial financial contributions as well as their unwillingness to "let go" brought this situation into being.

It's embarrassing and demoralizing for the Board when the kind of reversal recalled in this legend actually happens.  It reminds the Board that they need to talk things over with the unelected elders before they vote, basically not a bad idea. But it makes me want to say to those elders, "If you don't mean to let go of control, then you have to continue to serve on the Board!"  and  "Can't you let someone with new ideas do things in new ways?"

That small group of long time leaders has a really crucial role to play in the survival and health of a small congregation.  The congregation can move forward, maybe even grow, if the elders find a way to hand over authority to what I might call emerging long term leaders. Others need to come to have "standing" of the same kind as that of the small group that has held the congregation together for 20 years.  The  elders need to ask themselves how someone qualifies to be one of them.  Service in leadership, financial commitment, devotion to the faith, what else?

For real democracy to emerge, elders must come to hold their eldership lightly, to allow others to gain positions of respect.  Generation needs to follow generation not only in elected leadership, but also in eldership, or the congregation will wither.  In a small congregation, the role of that small group that plays the role of the "administration," is key.  How well do they connect with the newer families and leaders? How well do they connect with the larger religious movement? How open are they to new possibilities?

Small congregations need leadership development, for sure, a perennial focus of attention. But they also need eldership development.

Congregation elders have a lot to contribute, maybe not always in a good way...

A Small Congregation's Public Presence

I had an excellent visit with the Board of the Missoula Unitarian Universalist Fellowship before Thanksgiving.  They were wondering how to have more of a public presence as a very small congregation in a town of about 67,000.  I wondered, too.

They are just in the midst of a project to move to a different building,  They were pleased that media seemed to be interested in that, and wondered how to make themselves better known in the process of making this change.

We explored the landscape of public presence, and found some places where the amount of effort and skill they could bring to bear looked likely to yield real results.  We also realized that much of what they want has to do with personal connections with leaders of religious and civic organizations.

Social media looked like the top pick.  They need to adjust some things on their website, they thought, but facebook looked like the target for more energy.  More frequent, shorter, postings, maybe the use of invitations to "events" for special occasions, links to the newsletter and introduction of blog posts for updates on goings-on in the fellowship all seemed like good ideas.  People made commitments to follow up on these.

Participation in special events in town also seemed managable to the group,  They could step out beyond the Pride parade to at least one other parade type event, and maybe set up a table at another occasional opportunity.

They were cautious about taking on too much. I thought that was a really good idea.

The main thing was not to shift so much attention from the core activities of the fellowship that their way of being themselves went out of focus.  They need to maintain the strong worship, strong religious education for children, and strong participation in community service that is making them feel good about themselves.  It's that feeling good about themselves that is making them feel like having a stronger public presence, after all!

I'm excited about the new building.  There are some hurdles as they move through local approvals, and it is still not a completely done deal.  They ave wisely positioned themselves as "maybe" being about to move, and want to be stronger as a congregation whether they do or not. They are advancing confidently in the direction of their dreams... putting foundations under them as Thoreau advised.

Lincoln School building -- Missoula UU's new home?

Small Congregations, Connected and Vital?

The reality is that many Unitarian Universalist congregations are small.  In particular, the ones that started as fellowships in small places remain small, often too small to have professional clergy.  When they don't have that live connection with the larger movement, it's easy to get isolated and stale, to have festering problems with relationships in the gathered community, and to lose a sense of mission in their towns and in the world.

Through experience with several of them, I have come to believe that for small congregations to remain vital, they need connection to the larger movement and to each other, the kind that clergy might provide.  And they sometimes need skilled help finding their way forward through the thickets of life together in a smallish group, another area where clergy assistance could make a difference.

My tentative prescription is a kind of low-density ministry combined with interconnection among themselves.  A minister could visit a few times a year for a workshop, a service, and maybe a social event, providing support in areas of concern.  A virtual cluster of leaders could gather to speak together of progress and challenges.  Maybe there could be adult religious exploration by webinar involving people from several congregations so UU's spread out across several towns could come to know each other well.

This could be financed by having congregations contribute a set amount to support the virtual part of the ministry and then pay separately for physical visits.

I remain unsure of how this could be started, and would welcome suggestions.  I also wonder what people think of the whole idea.  I eagerly await your responses!

unknown people looking happy in their congregational gathering

Can a Small Congregation Grow?

It's a dream of congregations in the smallest size category to be bigger, have more people to do things, stronger finances, a building of their own, more diverse programming, actual staff members... but can it be done?

My observation is that maybe it can and maybe it can't, for reasons both internal and external.

After I wrote about clergy and small congregations, my colleague Jane Dwinell reminded me that some places just won't be able to support a large enough congregation to call a minister.   There need to be enough people.  In some places, there need to be enough people right now, because that is all there will be.  In other places, it might be worth taking a chance on growth.  But take care!  Growth depends on both external and internal factors.

The external:  in an area where new people are moving in, where there are growing medical, educational, and tech-oriented employers, and already a good base of population, there's a good chance.  If you have 80-90 members and your community presence is bringing in visitors every week, it's worth taking a chance. If you have 50-60 members, it seems risky. I think a town or cluster of towns of 90,000 can support a UU congregation of 100-150.  Growing into that size is easier of there are new families arriving who need to make connections and want to  find a way to give their children some faith background.  Some younger people come with an interest in social action on issues we support, and that's a positive for making strong connections.

anonymous small congregation celebrating their new building

But it also depends on internal factors.  The congregation needs to be ready to make room for newcomers.  Leaders of one congregation I served admitted that an earlier attempt at growth had failed because they were not connecting personally with the new people so much as checking them off on a list and looking for the number of dollar signs printed on their foreheads. Families did not stay. New leaders did not develop.  New pledges were not large.

Are visitors coming?  If you have visitors every week, make sure you are treating them well!  Mainly, get to know them.  Invite them to social activities.  Help them become part of whatever is going on.
Get their kids involved in Religious Education and family fun activities.

Are they staying?  Keep reaching out and keep finding ways to connect them with the congregation.
Have an appealing program for converting visitors into members and gather them into it.

Are new leaders developing?  This is a very tricky issue for established small congregations.  New leaders are at the same time both intensely desired and viewed with suspicion. To have your heart's desire -- more people to help with the work -- you must work on your suspicion of anyone new.  New leaders to need training.  They need to learn the ways of your congregation.  What they don't need:  a vague assignment where they are left totally on their own to sink or swim; a specific assignment with so many instructions and so much supervision that they can't do it themselves.

Are new pledges generous and growing? People who are engaged with the congregation, who feel they have found a spiritual home, and who have been invited to generosity will give.  You know that, because that's how you came to be giving as much as you are.

Having clergy or a building may help with growth, but the internal dynamics and the external opportunity need to be there first.

A Small Congregation Wonders About Clergy

I had a great visit recently with the UU Fellowship in Billings, MT, to help them reflect on the benefits and challenges of having professional clergy serving with them.  We did that Saturday, then had  worship together on Sunday. (Not to mention the road trip and excellent dinner on Saturday evening) What a great group of people, and what an energetic fellowship!

It got me thinking in a more general way about the question of whether or not to have professional clergy in these small, relatively isolated communities of the West.

Some of the items are of the sort that can be listed and weighed against each other, but some are not. The folks in Billings -- not just this congregation, but others I know -- are typical of small congregations in that they think of the minister's job in terms of the Sunday service.  "Will we be bored with hearing the same point of view so often over such a long time?" "Will it assure us of high quality services?"  And indeed, the church growth books tell us the pastor of a small congregation can expect to be a chaplain, in charge of worship and pastoral care and not invited to get involved in leadership.

At the same time, the small congregation could benefit from leadership that includes professional clergy, if they can manage to let it happen.  Clergy have training and experience in church meetings and church politics.  They can sometimes have insight into tangled situations and power struggles. They may have helpful ideas about how to deal with difficult people.  Governance can more easily develop the kind of tone and practice that reflects our Principles when there's a professional clergy person involved.  The minister can be the public face of the fellowship, speaking up on social issues, answering questions from public and press.

The big question is, can the congregation's leadership make room for a minister who is more than a chaplain?  Or is the chaplain role all they can imagine?  That making room takes a surprising amount of internal adjustment. People who have been doing it all, and successfully, are invited to share with this credentialed stranger. How does that work?  Not smoothly.  It needs both the sponsorship of the "pillars" of the congregation and their flexibility in making a place for ministerial leadership.

Surely the new minister can't be one of the authoritarian types.  But assertiveness is necessary. Changes need to begin at once, or they will settle in to being as they always have been, with the minister assigned to leading worship, caring for the sick and elderly, and conducting rites of passage. In our fellowships, it is likely that a minister so assigned will seem an expensive luxury.  "Why are we spending all this money?" people will say.

Existing leadership is key. They need to work hard on making space for professional leadership as they prepare to bring someone in.  And there is no one to tell them how to do that.  It is one of the small miracles of our movement that sometimes an established fellowship manages this shift.

from an anonymous website not in our tradition...these people
signed up to be ushers.. or is one of them the minister?

The Small Congregation Prepares for Annual Meeting

Annual Meeting is coming.

The idea of preparation is a little new.

The budget must be prepared, but just this week, the Religious Education Committee decided to charge a small fee to help cover the cost of supplies, and never told the Treasurer.  Not really a problem, since it's a wash, but still...

And nobody actually put together a budget item for the 50th anniversary celebration next fall.

But the budget will be presented, probably line by line, and passed.

The nominating committee (known as the Recruitment and Recognition Committee) has managed to find enough people to staff the Board of Trustees, but not to replace themselves.  There may or may not be people who want to nominate for Nominating from the floor.

Most committees have affirmed that they have chairs for the coming year.

There is "always" a pot luck lunch beforehand, although this has not been mentioned so far in the publicity for this event.

The interim minister (that would be me) has instigated a printed booklet of annual reports on the congregation's activities.  The Building and Grounds Committee is alone in declining to participate.  This is a positive development!

The main event is that the part time minister and the part time religious education coordinator-and-administrative-coordinator will be working with this congregation for another year.  This is implicit in the budget and will not be discussed separately, thank goodness!

People are happy about the way things are going.  This is good, because apparently there is no parliamentarian, either official or unofficial. And little knowledge of how to use Robert's or another system to guide discussion to a vote.

Moving to a more formal way of being in the world is happening.  But this congregation is not quite there yet.

That's okay.  In fact, it's fine.

No, this is not the congregation in question....

What They Believe, for Now...

What can I say about this wonderful Coming of Age group?

They are all wonderful, year after year, congregation after congregation, and I never get tired of the presentations on Coming of Age Sunday.

Godzilla, this year.  An awesome way to start a reflection on God and heroes and making meaning.

And the two kids who appeared by video because they had to be at a soccer tournament in Coeur d'Alene.
(I hate Sunday soccer tournaments.)

Some believe in God, some are not sure, and some for sure don't.  Interesting riff on the Big Bang and who might have started it. Or not.

All speak well and radiate the glow of youth, filling me with hope for the future of our world, or at least some corner of it.

We only see the tip of the iceberg.  It has been a struggle in this congregation to persuade these youth and their parents that this program is worth it.  But they mostly came on Sundays and were part of it, maybe absorbing more passively than an observer would have liked, but mostly, they were there.  And so much effort from some of the mentors to engage them more fully!

A cold-water plunge in November before the lake froze, taking their instructions from the way of certain Northwest indigenous people.

Afternoon hangouts at the coffee shop, talking about life, the universe, and everything.

And the Sunday service affirmed it had been worth it! Yes, the presentations of their faith statements, of course.  And so many people!  So much food!  So many pictures being taken!  Gifts exchanged!
And so much talk.

Much later, people went home, smiling.

It won't happen next year in this congregation, but looking at the population of the lower grades in Sunday school, they're into a time of doing this every other year.

This is a blessing.

Is a Small Congregation a Black Hole?

The woman sat in my office and tried to explain.  It was just too much, she said.  One leadership commitment always led to two more.  Or worse, when she signed up to do a piece of a project, she often turned out to be organizing the whole thing.  "It's a black hole," she said. "It sucks you in and never lets you out."  She had done it long enough.  She was going to find an alternative to church, something that did not require her to give up her life.  I wished her well, and told her I hoped she would be back in time.

In a small congregation, it's hard to find the people to fill important leadership roles.

It's one real reason to find ways to grow just a little larger. But you can't just  grab the first newcomer and make them committee chair, board member, board officer.  Sometimes you might get lucky, but not often.  I remember the congregation where the secretary of the board had been serving for too long.  A brand new member was selected to replace her.  She lasted three months before bolting.  She left the position and left the congregation, never to darken the doorway again.  The previous secretary returned, and as far as I know is still serving that role, lo these many years later. Complaining proudly that she is the only one who can do the job.  I don't believe this is a good way.

As people get tired, things get sloppy and functions are pared down, a faded feeling of weariness permeates all activities. Potluck suppers feature things people bought at the supermarket on the way over. A certain odor in the building speaks of not quite thorough cleaning. People no longer take time to check in with each other.  Little silos of different functions develop and operate independently.  Efforts to collaborate or even communicate just flutter and die. Children grow up and classes in Religious Education are no longer needed. 

The leaders are just too tired to get to know anyone new.  Sometimes they say "I have enough friends; I don't need to meet people."  Other times, they are just discouraged and can't find positive things to say to newcomers.  

And of course, if that's the way your congregation is operating, growth is unlikely.

Some congregations find a way to suck it up and get through the slump.  Others do not.

I try to encourage leaders in congregations to remember why they are doing what they do, to get to know whatever new people are coming through the doors, and to coach them to get involved without foisting leadership on them too soon.  It's more effort, but signs of positive change begin to emerge very soon, so it doesn't seem like effort for nothing.  What are the resources that can be drawn on for the required added effort?  Each congregation has its own story.  I am convinced that it can most often be a story with a happy ending.

Does a Small UU Congregation Matter?

A small congregation does matter, I say.  They should just be the best small congregation they can be, letting go of the idea that they "should" in some way "grow."  Even if there are other congregations that are a lot bigger and denominations that are a lot stronger, or something, it's not necessarily true that if they stay small, there is something wrong with them.

The smallest of the UU congregations I know has some history of people holding grudges and making life difficult for them.  They also have a couple of difficult members whose ways of relating to newcomers are off putting.  But for all that, they are a good hearted group, capable of putting on a meaningful worship service, producers of very good children's religious education, providers of excellent pastoral care to their members in need, and participants in substantial social service projects.

I enjoy leading worship with them.  They are responsive.  They sing.  They hang out after service and visit with one another and with me.  Coffee hour has a pleasant hum of people engaged with one another. This visit, there was home made cheesecake. (The quality of after-service food and the ambient sound of coffee hour are indicators to me of the general health of congregational life).

Will they grow?  They could, if they can work through the grudge thing and neutralize the members who repel visitors.  I believe they are in the process of turning these roadblocks into signposts, but it may take some time. While these obstacles to growth are being whittled away, they will remain small, embodying our  faith on a small scale, spreading themselves in a small way into their community.  To my mind, this small congregation does matter in our movement.

Let us encourage these small congregations.  It is not their fault that among us there are grudge-holders and people who believe the world revolves around themselves.  The difficult people are ours, too, and the struggle to deal with them in wholesome, loving, ways is our struggle.

When I visit, I extend a word of encouragement.  Connection to their larger movement seems to be important.  I'd like to see small, lay-led fellowships be visited often by religious professionals who are passing through their territories, maybe to lead worship with them, maybe just to stop in and talk with a few leaders about what's on their minds.

Maybe it will help them be the best small congregation they can be, holding up the light of our faith to the community around them.  And maybe that is enough. For now.