Learning at the Feet of a Master

Well, he stood in the front of the large room with the tables in rows, using power points some of the time, but mostly just talking.  But from the back of the room, I still had the feeling I was sitting at the feet of a Master. It was all very down to Earth, though.  Talk about the way things really work about the head and the heart as Roy Oswald unpacked what he knows about Emotional Intelligence with us.

Roy Oswald with Rev. Barbara Child

As I heard it, it seemed to me that emotional intelligence -- something that is partly innate and can also be learned -- is a key to both successful ministry and satisfying congregational life.  It was not surprising that it begins with self-awareness, something to be cultivated not only with meditation and journaling and such reflections of our own, but also with frequent receiving of feedback from others on their perceptions of us.  If we can see our emotional selves as others see us as well as knowing ourselves from the inside out, we've got the foundation.

It's a short step to be able to do effective self regulation, the ability to be responsive, authentic, and appropriate when connecting with others.  And a short step in another direction to have social awareness, the ability to figure out what is going on with others, the foundation for empathy.  Self-awareness on the one hand, empathy on the other, that's all you really need to have authentic and intimate communication without those troublesome "boundary" issues. Who knew?  It's both really simple and really challenging.

Oswald says meditate and keep a journal on a daily basis to promote self-awareness.  I'm going home from this conference with new determination to add to my little daily meditation practice a more robust journaling practice that includes how I really feel about stuff in my day (too many grocery lists in my past journal...) And I will be making more of an effort to solicit and receive feedback in many settings. It matters a lot to connect what I believe I know about myself to what others see and hear!

Will this make me somehow better?  The meditation makes a difference.  The yoga practice does, too.  It can't hurt to add the journal.  For me, the feedback will be the most challenging.  Is "better" what I'm looking for?  Better at making connections, better at doing authentic speaking and listening.  Maybe a happier life because of it.