When the Congregation is Family Size

Joining a family is kind of tricky.  They have a lot of ways of doing things that are well established and not explained at all.

The interim minister comes to shake things up and talk things over so things end up being slightly more intentional.  But it's hard...some of the stuff is pretty obscure.

I was in a small group talking with a long-established member about space for religious education classes. She spoke of a time when  space had been opened up in an outbuilding with the idea that a teen class could meet there, but it not been completed. In the context of finding a way to  have an office for the newly established position of administrator -- a spot more suitable than the space at the end of the kitchen -- this was an interesting piece of news.  Somehow no one had thought of that partially finished space.  The middle school group would need the space the administrator could otherwise use.  End of story.  Has another door opened?  To be continued...

I was in a meeting with a diverse selection of leaders.  The subject of fundraising had come up, and people were expressing opinions in a broad way.  "You've probably lost most of them," said a well-placed leader, "but there was a group of people who were really committed to doing something with the building."  First I'd heard of people being disgruntled over the failure of a building project...  I'd heard of something that might be related, but this was news.  In his mind, the minister and  building were competing for the same resources. This was not a principled opposition to professional ministry, which I was well represented in this congregation's conversations, but rather a practical one. His choice of pronouns ("you" have lost them) let me know he was one of them.  Now I can have a conversation with him and find out more, I hope!

I don't think people are holding back or being devious.  I think these two stories are typical of the way a family size congregation works.  There is no need to explain things because everyone already knows.  And it's not easy to identify people who have particular information because everyone has so many roles over the course of years of membership.  And of course, little is written down. That's part of what makes these congregation's fascinating.

New people who aren't ministers can find similar challenges about finding what's going on and what's expected.  It takes just getting in there and asking a lot of questions, something not every newcomer finds comfortable.